We all have moments that are imprinted on our brains; for me, one such moment was the 2022 Winter Olympics female Slope Style final, after Zoi Sadowski-Synnott completed her gold medal winning run. I watched with joy and awe as first, Zoi’s direct competitors, and then the rest of the slope style women rush to embrace her (find it on YouTube, its goosebump worthy). At the highest level of the world stage, its common practice to see disappointment from competitors.
Instead, we see elation, celebration, and pure joy. You see empowered women, celebrating and empowering other women, and I am here for it! Heck, it’s one of the main reasons why I got into life coaching.
Feeling empowered champions feelings of motivation, confidence, self-worth, liberation, joy and inspiration. Feelings I know we could all do with more of. So how do we channel this empowerment and infuse it in our lives? How do we go from feeling like we are just surviving (I’m talking about the overwhelm we feel as we try to manage not just the mental load, but also the physical and emotional load of Mum, wife, partner, daughter, friend, co-worker, the list goes on), to thriving at life. And how do we then add empowering others to that?
What I’ve learnt though, is that even though life can feel hard and complicated at times, empowerment doesn’t need to be. We can decomplicate it by stripping it back to its simplest form; kindness.
And here’s what I’ve learnt about kindness:
1. Kindness creates support. People who feel supported feel valued, respected and encouraged. When we feel like this, we are more likely to feel empowered to express ourselves and pursue our goals.
2. Kindness, or acts of kindness can boost confidence and self-esteem. When we experience kindness, we feel acknowledged and validated and from this, we can increase personal empowerment.
3. Kindness has a ripple effect, inspiring others to also act with kindness. This ripple effect spreads empowerment, creating a cycle of kindness and empowerment. It’s important to discuss this ripple effect from a parent’s perspective here. It continues to blow my mind that bullying continues to happen, when through the simple act of role modelling kindness and installing it in our children, we could completely eradicate bullying within a generation.
As a mother, If I could wave a magic wand over children’s lives and change anything, top of my list would be that they grow up in a world that is kind.
No bullying, no nastiness, no popping of the blissful innocence bubble they should be able to live in. Just happy children who flourish. It’s unfair at any stage of life, but when it happens to a defenceless child it can and does move me to tears.
As a parent, I work hard, every day to install kindness into my children. I don’t often ask what they learnt today; I ask them how they showed kindness to others. And what’s cool is that they have started to hunt kindness out. They often also tell me how others were kind to them or when they saw kindness in the classroom or playground. And when our second born is critical of herself or feeling like she can’t do something, I ask her how she can be kinder to herself. I know it might sound a bit cheesy, but if I want kindness to create empowerment, it starts with my actions as parent/adult.
Just like the act of kindness being a simple one, regularly incorporating kindness into our lives can be simple too. Here are four some super simple ways to do it.
1. Normalise complimenting a stranger (how often do you like what someone is wearing but never verbalise it?). I compliment regularly now, and I’ve only ever been met with a smile and a thank you.
2. Help the woman in the supermarket who is struggling to carry those 15 items (she knows she should have grabbed a basket but was only meant to be getting 2 items - we've all been there, right?). Side note, if the lady that saved me from collapsing the giant easter egg tower at Pak N Save Northlands is reading this, I am forever grateful!
3. Ask a friend if they are ok when you sense they are not. Too often I used to dodge that question because I feared I wouldn’t have a solution. But you know what, most of the time they don’t want a solution, they just want to know they are supported and not in it alone. By asking, you are opening the door to connection. And that is kindness.
4. Help a work colleague when you see them struggling with something you have already mastered. I know it can be tough to get where you are now, and we can feel like we need to protect our patch. But empowering other women is passing the ladder down, not pulling it up. Empowered women understand that when one woman rises, it paves the way for others.
Finally, never forget that the kindness and empowerment start at our door. As females, I know we can be extra tough on ourselves. Striving for perfection, desperately trying to not drop any of those balls, feeling like we need to do it all, we carry a lot; physically, emotionally, and mentally. But remember to be kind to ourselves. I too have to keep reminding myself of this on a regular basis. Too often I have got caught up in all the above. Self-critical and reluctant to ask for help could also be added to my list. But I'm happy to say that I am getting there. It’s a journey for sure, but one that I am committed to continuing forward momentum.
Be kind to ourselves and others and watch the kindness and empowerment cycle flourish. Be Zoi, be her competitors because empowered women, empower women and I am here for it.
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