You’ve likely seen a child learning to walk. They stumble, fall, pick themselves up and try again. From an early age children understand that falling and getting back up is a part of the process of learning, growing and developing. As we watch them, we cheer them on and encourage them to get back up and try again. We don’t push them back down to stop them, we don’t reprimand them for trying, or tell them they perhaps they should just stay crawling because it’s easier. We continue to support them and celebrate their mistakes, knowing that each one is taking them one step closer to mastering the skill.
As we get older though, we often see this behaviour change. We keep expecting it of our children, but we stop expecting it from ourselves. I know I have definitely been guilty of sticking with comfort, while at the same time challenging my children to embrace discomfort. A bit hypocritical right? We encourage our children to face their fears and push past their comfort zone so they can be confident, strong and resilient young people, but how often are we really doing it ourselves?
I often get asked how we can embrace uncertainty or get comfortable being uncomfortable. I think one of the easiest ways to understand this concept, is to explore the 4 zones of growth. It’s actually a topic I spoke about at an event last week and what gave me the idea to write this blog.
Below is a brief summary of the different zones. These 4 zones allow us to understand why we get caught in the comfort zone and also why stepping out of our comfort zone can be so hard. But these zones also show us why it’s so important to move through the zones so we can undergo transformational change both personally and professionally.
Zone 1: The Comfort Zone – where familiarity resides.
I tend to think of the comfort zone a cozy bubble where everything feels safe and predictable. It’s almost like a security blanket we wrap around ourselves. Woman in particular can be cautious about venturing beyond the comfort zone, fearing judgement or failure, In terms of motherhood, one of our primary and instinctive goal is to protect our children and create an environment in which they can flourish. So, it’s not unusual to think the comfort zone is the best place to achieve this. But by staying in our comfort zone, we miss out on numerous opportunities to achieve greatness, both in our careers and personal lives. And we miss out on role modelling this to our children also.
Zone 2: The Fear Zone – where we face down uncertainty.
You can understand why so many stay in the comfort zone when just outside it, is the Fear Zone. This zone can be a heart-pounding, nerve-wracking space where uncertainty, self-doubt and limiting beliefs take centre stage. Whether it’s starting a new career, pursuing an entrepreneurial dream, or standing up to someone who has held too much power over you in the past, the Fear Zone makes us question our abilities and decisions.
I know as a mother of youngish children; I am constantly fighting the internal battle to not say “be careful” or “be safe” or “don’t do that or you’ll hurt yourself”. I’m careful to not let my fear of them hurting themselves, become their internal voice around facing fears. I want them to stare down that big jump, back themselves, face their fear and jump. I have to be intentional to not let my fears, negatively influence their natural curiosity for adventure and excitement. Maybe they’ll fall and hurt themselves, but I know they will learn from it. But maybe they won’t, maybe they’ll stick their landing (or dive roll out of it) and get to experience the joy of conquering their fears and make it a natural part of their day to day lives.
From a professional perspective, I sat looking out at the Fear zone for quite a while before I finally decided to take the leap and change careers to a life and mindset coach. There was lots of uncertainty at the time. We weren’t in an overly secure place financially, we had small children and just brought a new house. My comfort zone was enticing me back at every stage. But I also knew in my heart that I needed to face down this uncertainty, back myself and role model to our children that discomfort is good for us, especially when pursuing our dreams.
A while we often associate fear as bad, the secret here is that fear can be a really powerful catalyst for growth. Women the world over have shattered glass ceilings and achieved remarkable success by pushing through this zone. I know that I haven’t regretted it for one second when it comes to my career.
A good indicator that you are in the fear zone is that feeling of discomfort. So, I ask you now: When was the last time you truly felt uncomfortable? When did you last feel that heart-pounding, nerve racking feeling that is a key indicator you’re in the Fear Zone? If you can’t remember that's a pretty good indicator you might be sitting a little to comfortably in your comfort zone.
Zone 3: The Learning Zone – where we expand our minds.
As we muster the courage, take the leap and face our fears, we leave the Fear Zone and enter the Learning Zone. This zone is all about embracing challenges and learning from our experiences. It’s a zone where resilience and determination play a significant role in our growth. I think its actually where things start to get a bit easier. When you’re used to staying in our comfort zone, moving out of it, and entering the Fear Zone is often the hardest part. Now in the Learning Zone, you get to develop exciting new skills, experience increased self-confidence, and seek out new and exciting opportunities for personal and professional growth.
Zone 4: The Growth Zone – where the magic happens.
And finally, when we emerge from the Learning Zone, we find ourselves in the Growth Zone. This is the zone where our potential flourishes and where we get the chance to become the best versions of ourselves. It’s a realm of endless possibilities and often where we find our true purpose and begin to live a life that truly excites and fulfils us. This is also the zone that inspires others (including our children) to do the same.
So, I’m hoping that you are seeing why it’s so important to embrace the discomfort of leaving the Comfort Zone. Not just occasionally, but regularly. I’m not saying go out and be crazy reckless, I’m saying if we want to feel that amazing feeling of flourishing in either life or career, we simply won’t achieve it by playing it safe and staying within our comfort zone. By embarking of this transformational journey through these zones, not only does it allow us to become our best and happiest self, but it also sets a powerful example for the younger generations watching us closely.
On a personal level, I know that pushing outside my comfort zone, taking on new challenges and pursuing my dreams installs these same values in my children. I want them to be courageous and confident and I know that by them seeing me do it, as well as talking honestly to them about it, this is how they can best achieve it. I want them to learn from me how to navigate life’s uncertainties with resilience and tenacity.
Ultimately, it’s a choice to embrace the Fear Zone and a choice I encourage women to pursue. I want you all to experience the magic that happens when we move out of comfort and learn to embrace discomfort as a sign we are growing, developing, and living our true potential. Yes it will be uncomfortable, yes it will likely be scary, but trust me, you will be happier, more confident and more fulfilled for it.
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