Last week marked my 41st birthday, and as birthdays often do for me, it prompted a moment of introspection, a chance to pause and ponder the year that has passed. So, as I lay in bed at the end of my day, I thought of all the highlights (and some low points) from the year that has passed. Now, I’m a pretty driven person, sometimes this is good, other times not so much because I can absolutely get caught up in being too future focused. The hustle in me is real. However, as I lay in bed, deep in reflection, I experienced one of those almost profound moments when something previously unseen or unconsidered suddenly became as clear as day*
There in the quiet, it dawned on me, that (all things going well) I’m likely to possess about an equal amount of time ahead of me, as I've already lived on this Earth. When I consider the monumental journey from my birth until this very moment, with all the milestones, achievements, and experiences that dot my path, I felt a sense of calm, almost tranquility. My drive to achieve my goals remains unwavering, but this newfound realisation has quelled the panic that often accompanies me in business. (It’s not lost on me that this kind of perspective is what I coach others towards, yet I don’t always experience the same kind of clarity for myself)
So, this blog is both a bit of a refresher for me, and a sharing of knowledge with you. In no particular order, the following are some of the key realisations and reflections I have had during my journey as a life and mindset coach.
1. People aren’t’ thinking of you in the way that you think they are thinking about you. It might sound blunt, but people have their own lives to lead and seldom have the time or energy to obsess over you 24/7. Don’t overthink it and let go of what you think others think of you.
2. Seek joy in the experience. Be disciplined with the process and the outcome should take care of itself.
3. Find people who match your energy and make sure they know how important they are to you. Strong social bonds are essential for happiness and emotional well-being. If you haven’t found your people yet, don’t worry; they will walk into your life when you are truly ready to welcome them in.
4. Success will not come without failure. Fail fast and move forward faster. Choose to see it as a sign that success is one step closer. Also, failure looks different for everyone. I used to think that I had to overcome extreme failure or adversity to be able to do my job well. Thankfully, I now know better.
5. Perspective shapes reality. In every situation, there exists an alternative viewpoint. Develop the skill of seeking out opportunities to redefine circumstances that aren’t to your liking.
6. Relish in our true self. Our quirks, our individuality, and our strengths are our superpowers. Channel your energy into nurturing them; you'll reach your destination more swiftly and profoundly by harnessing them rather than stifling them and conforming to someone else's path.
7. The most significant investment you can make in life is getting to know yourself, understanding your values, and committing to the path you're determined to carve. Once you know what you want, be intentional and purposeful with how you go about getting it.
8. A significant portion of our success and happiness hinges on our ability to effectively respond to situations beyond our control. Choose disciplined responses over default responses.
9. As a parent, understand that the way we communicate with our children becomes their inner voice (take a pause to re-read that again, cause it's a biggie!)
10. Avoid getting entangled in drama. Nobody wakes up with enthusiasm to be engulfed in it. Drama saps your emotional and physical energy. Keep a distance from it, as well as from individuals who actively seek or generate it.
11. Engage in truthful, candid conversations. We frequently attempt to sugarcoat situations or provide excuses. However, people can and will appreciate your honesty in the long run. Lasting conflicts arise when they see through your excuses and discover that you've been less than truthful.
12. Keep a positive mindset. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude and practice positive self-talk.
13. Give back, help others and be of service, it can be incredibly fulfilling. Find ways to contribute to your community or a cause that you're passionate about.
14. Finally, drink the champagne, wear the dress, eat the cake, get the injectables! Do anything and everything that makes you happy and makes you feel good about yourself, NOW. Nothing is guaranteed, don’t wait till later.
So, there they are. In all honesty I could have easily written 50, but 14 (41 backwards) felt fitting. I hope you enjoyed and if anything, resonated with you, go out and do it, adopt it, weave it into your life. You won’t regret it (especially #14)
Paula x
*I mentioned this in one of my previous blogs but didn’t go into detail. As we relax in the tranquil moments just before drifting off to sleep or during those cherished instances of profound relaxation (I've mentioned before for me it's also in the shower), our minds embark on a journey into the mysterious realms of creativity. During these times our brain waves slow down, transitioning into a state known as the alpha or theta state. These brainwave frequencies signify a deeper level of consciousness—a state where the boundaries between our conscious and subconscious minds become porous. In this twilight zone of awareness, our thoughts become less tethered to logic and linear thinking, allowing them to roam freely, connecting disparate concepts, and forming novel associations.
As we unwind, the relentless chatter of our daily lives gradually subsides, making room for insights and intuitions to surface. It's as if the noise of the external world recedes, giving our inner musings a chance to take center stage. During these moments, the mind, unburdened by the demands of the waking world, becomes an incubator for creativity.
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